A Purposd Teen Original

The Girl I Tried to Hide

You don’t have to earn what God already declared.

By Chestney Hibbler · 9-minute read · Published August 2026

“Hating yourself quietly is still hate. And you deserve better than your own silence.”

“This reflection is for the girl who spent years shrinking — and is finally learning she was never meant to disappear.”

I used to hate myself. Not all at once. Just one piece at a time.

My skin. Every breakout felt like another reason to hide.

My hair. Too curly. Too kinky. Too different. I wished I looked like everyone else.

My body. Too curvy. Too noticeable. I wasn’t trying to be seen. I just wanted to disappear.

Even my voice… too deep. Too raspy. Too different. I kept wondering, “Why couldn’t I just be… normal?”

But it wasn’t just what I saw in the mirror.

I was too nice. Too forgiving. Too accepting. Too loving. Too giving.

I’d pour into everyone else and convince myself it was okay when nobody poured back into me.

I smiled when I wanted to cry. Stayed quiet when I should’ve spoken. Apologized for things that weren’t my fault.

I became so good at making everyone else comfortable… that I forgot how to be myself.

I dimmed my light just to blend in. I laughed at jokes that hurt. Stayed in friendships that drained me. Called chaos “normal” because it felt familiar.

I thought being loved meant being needed. I thought being kind meant never saying no.

I grew up believing I had to be perfect. Never mess up. Never fail. Never disappoint anyone.

So I carried the impossible weight of trying to make everyone happy. And every time I couldn’t… I blamed myself.

I was terrified of rejection. Terrified of failure. Terrified that if people really knew me… they’d realize I wasn’t enough.

So I spent years trying to prove what God had already declared.

I listened to every lie. Until I couldn’t hear the truth anymore.

Then one day, God asked me a question I’ll never forget.

“Who told you to spend your life earning what I already gave you?”

I didn’t have an answer. Because somewhere between the opinions, the pressure, the comparison, and the fear… I forgot who named me first.

God never asked me to become someone else. He asked me to become who He created.

The skin I wanted to hide. The hair I wanted to change. The voice I wished sounded different. The kindness I thought made me weak. The heart I thought loved too much.

None of it was a mistake.

God wasn’t asking me to erase who I was. He was teaching me to stop apologizing for the masterpiece He intentionally created.

So if you’re reading this and secretly wondering if you’re enough… I hope you hear what I wish someone had told me.

You don’t have to earn your worth. You don’t have to shrink to make others comfortable. You don’t have to become someone different to be loved.

The world will spend your whole life trying to tell you who you should be. Don’t let it be louder than the God who already told you who you are.

And one day… the very things you begged God to take away… may become the things someone else thanks God they saw in you.

💛

Heal. Grow. Become.

— Purposd Teen

“The very things you begged God to take away may become the things someone else thanks God they saw in you.”

💛 Heal. Grow. Become. — Purposd Teen

The Truth Beneath the Reflection

Hating yourself piece by piece is still self-rejection. It doesn’t have to be dramatic to be damaging. Every time you apologized for existing, you were listening to a voice that was never God’s.

You were not made to be invisible. Shrinking to make others comfortable is not humility — it’s self-erasure. And God did not design you to disappear.

Your hair. Your voice. Your heart that loves too much. None of it was an accident. It was architecture. God built you specifically — and He doesn’t make mistakes.

What God Says About You

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

— Psalm 139:14 NIV

Sit With This

These questions are just for you. Write whatever comes to mind — nobody else will see it.

1. What part of yourself have you been apologizing for — your body, your voice, your personality, your feelings?
2. Who or what has been loudest in telling you who you should be? Has it been louder than God?
3. What is one thing about yourself God made on purpose that you’ve been treating like a mistake?

This space is just for you. Nothing you write here is submitted or saved.

A Prayer

God,

I’ve been hiding parts of myself I thought were too much or not enough.

Forgive me for agreeing with every voice that wasn’t Yours.

Help me see what You see — not what the mirror says, not what they think, not what comparison whispers.

Teach me that my worth was settled before I was born.

I don’t have to earn it. I don’t have to shrink for it. I just have to receive it.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You Were Made on Purpose

Teen coaching with Chestney creates a safe, judgment-free space to work through identity, self-worth, and what it means to walk fully in who God designed you to be.

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For the Teen Who Feels Left Out

For the one sitting on the outside wondering if she’ll ever belong.

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