Week 4 · Season 1: Healing
Dear Journal,
I didn’t realize how guarded I’d become until I noticed how difficult it was to receive something good without expecting something bad to follow.
A kind word made me suspicious. A promise made me nervous. A peaceful season made me wonder what was coming next.
I kept calling it wisdom.
But sometimes, if I’m honest, it was fear wearing the clothes of discernment.
I’ve experienced enough disappointment to know that people don’t always keep their word. I’ve learned that being vulnerable can hurt, and sometimes the people you trusted most are the ones who taught you to protect yourself.
So I built walls.
Not all at once. Just a little higher every time something hurt.
And eventually, I became so focused on making sure nothing could hurt me again that I stopped noticing how much those walls were keeping out.
Peace. Connection. Joy. Even the possibility that something could actually be different this time.
God, I’m beginning to understand that healing doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened. It doesn’t mean ignoring red flags, abandoning boundaries, or trusting people who have not demonstrated trustworthiness.
It means I don’t have to let yesterday’s disappointment make every decision for tomorrow.
Maybe trusting again begins with trusting You enough to stop trying to control every outcome.
Maybe I can be careful without being closed.
Maybe I can have boundaries without building a prison around my heart.
And maybe the next chapter doesn’t have to look like the last one.
I’m still learning.
But today, instead of asking You to guarantee that nothing will ever hurt me again, I’m asking You to teach me how to walk in wisdom without living in fear.
Scripture: Psalm 62:8 (NIV)
Heart Check: Where have I been calling something discernment when it may actually be fear? What would healthy trust, supported by wise boundaries, look like in this season?
Closing reminder: You can protect your peace without closing your heart to every possibility of healing.
Where honesty meets healing.